A Facebook Copypasta about High School

Yep, another of these dumb things. I like to get very long-winded, so I might as well do it in my blog.

Your SENIOR year of high school! The longer ago it was, the more fun the answers will be: 

(sure, okay; is half a lifetime ago long enough?)

1. The year: 

2003-2004

2. What kind of car did you drive?

I uh, still don’t drive anything. When I get behind the wheel of a car my anxiety goes through the roof and I just freeze up, forget left from right, even forget which pedal is the brake and which is the gas. I think it has to do with my autism, and inability to multitask, especially if mine and somebody else’s life is at stake. I can’t watch the road in front of me and watch the rear view mirrors at the same time, and there are so many little buttons and levers to keep track of. My brain can’t do it. I am actually mentally disabled. Most people can’t tell when they meet me (and I didn’t even realize it myself until somewhat recently), it doesn’t mean I’m not intelligent. But there are things I can’t do, driving is one of them. Working the only gods-awful jobs I can qualify for is another. And this is one of the many reasons I don’t live up to society’s standards for masculinity, or adulthood in general. Gods, I hate US society.

3. It's a Friday night football game where were you? 

At home, sitting in my darkened bedroom, rocking back and forth while listening to my mixtapes or metal albums.

4. What job did you have?

None, and I think forcing minors to work is wrong. As if school didn’t rob me of enough of my youth.

5 Did you party?

No

6. Did you play sports? 

Not at all, except when forced to in P.E.

7. Were you in the band?

“The band”? You mean like the school band class, or a cool garage band? Well, I was in band class during Freshman year. I played clarinet, but was never any good at it. My teacher was a lot nicer than the evil tyrant I had in Middle School. And during that year we went on a cruise to Ensenada, Mexico, where I bought my infamous leather hat. The next year my Freshman English teacher was starting a Creative Writing class, so I took that instead of band.

8. Were you a nerd?

Yes, but probably not the typical nerd. I didn’t play Magic The Gathering, when it came to anime I had only seen what was shown on Toonami on Cartoon Network. Those were the two main things nerds at my school were into. I didn’t even really fit in with the nerds in High School, not that I didn’t have friends.

9. Did you get suspended?

Not senior year. I got suspended Sophomore year when my math teacher wouldn’t let me use the bathroom and my rage built up to such a point that I drew him being cut in half with a chainsaw and fed into a wood chipper. The teacher saw it, and not only got me suspended but called the cops on me. They luckily thought the whole thing was stupid.

10. Were you sociable?

Not especially.

11. What was your school mascot? 

A stupid falcon, that was ripped off from some NFL football team. I’m not bothered to look up which team. The school should have been sued.

12. If you could go back and do it again? 

Okay, I really hated High School. But, I don’t think I could turn down a legitimate offer to travel back in time. I would take a lot less crap from people the second time around. Actually what I should have done is drop out and get my GED instead. That’s what I would do, maybe after I meet my current friends. I could also avoid some of the mistakes I made after High School, like going out with that girl who dumped me after four months (probably thanks to my undiagnosed autism), and getting that damned Creative Writing Masters degree that kinda ruined my chances at any kind of career outside of retail and call centers, and put me in tons of debt I’ll never pay off. You get punished for pursuing your passions in this country. And I could become a goth early, since I didn’t get into goth until my 20s. I could also try to meet my wife early, but then again with our four year age difference things might get risky once I turn 18. I only want to go back once though, no need to get stuck in a four year Groundhog’s Day time loop.

13. Are you still in contact with people from high school?

Yes, a few friends, particularly my friend Kris.

14. Do you know where your high school sweetheart is?

Didn’t have one. I was too afraid to talk to girls in school, especially after things really didn’t go well in Middle School; a certain bullying incident with a girl left me with severe trust issues. I don’t remember having a crush on anyone in particular during Senior year either. I just wanted to do my time and get the hell out of that prison. After I got out I started to wish I had a girlfriend, and that got me into more bad situations when I jumped at whoever showed the slightest interest in me and it always ended badly until I met my future wife.

15. What was your favorite class?

Creative Writing. Followed by German.

16. Do you still have your high school class ring?

What a waste of money! Luckily I knew that back then too. School “spirit” is just another way to instill obedience. Just like nationalism.

17. Do you still have your yearbook?

I threw them away. But now that I’m drawing a webcomic about High School I wish I had kept them. I do still have a yearbook from Middle School that somehow survived the purge.

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