Monday, March 18, 2024

An Overview of Armenian Paganism

This was a presentation I put together for a Wiccan coven I have been hanging out with lately at the local Unitarian Universalist Fellowship. We like to do little presentations about different pantheons sometimes. Some of it was taken from this very blog, but it’s put together in a different way. It was also around the time of the Trndez holiday (February 13) so I decided to go over that holiday as well. It’s written so that hopefully non-Armenians will be able to understand it.




Armenian Paganism 


The Anahit Statue



In September of this year, a statue of the Armenian Goddess Anahit will return to Armenia from the British Museum for the first time since its discovery in the late 1800s, albeit temporarily. It is the only such artifact of its kind, because so many pagan statues were destroyed when the country was converted to Christianity.The significance of this event might be lost on outsiders, or even some Armenian Christians, but it is a historic return more than 1,700 years in the making. 


Anahit was the Mother Goddess of Armenia, a country which at one time was about the size of Texas, but today has been reduced to the size of Maryland, after millennia of being colonized by empire after empire, from Persia to Rome to the Arabs to Ottoman Turkey to the Soviet Union. She shares similarities with the Zoroastrian Goddess Anahita, introduced under Persian conquest, but took on a local flavor when she was combined with the indigenous Goddess Arubani. Roman historian Pliny the Elder tells the story of a Roman soldier being struck blind and going insane after the Romans pillaged Her temple and destroyed Her golden statue. 


Many Armenians today will pridefully boast that Armenia became the first country to convert to Christianity, in 301 AD. Rather than everyone in the country just deciding to peacefully agree to convert, as Armenians are taught in Sunday school, there is ample evidence provided to us by actual early Christian historians such as Agathangelos that it was a bloody rampage of religious persecution and cultural genocide headed by King Tirdat III, who wanted to consolidate power to the throne and take it away from the preisthood and associated noble families which ruled regions within the kingdom. All but one pagan temple were completely destroyed. This would decades later be repeated in Rome, and everywhere else that Europeans colonized, around the planet. But it happened in Armenia first. It was sometime during the 300s AD that the Anahit statue was buried, perhaps to save it from overzealous Christians. 


After converting, the power structure of the Kingdom of Armenian was forever shaken, and never resulted in the unity that the king had been hoping for. Armenia gradually lost its power, and for centuries would seldom be independent, subject to whoever was building an empire at the time. Today it sits in a perilous region, between Turkey and Azerbaijan, two countries who hungrily await the day they can erase it off the map. The place where Anahit was buried would eventually become part of the territory occupied by Turkey. A farmer discovered the head of the statue on their land, and took it to Istanbul to be sold to an Italian collector, who in turn sold it to the British Museum. Because of its Greek style it was often mislabeled as a statue of Artemis or Athena, but those Goddesses had never been widely venerated in Armenia. It was made during a time that Armenian art took a lot of influence from Greece. 


After Armenia became independent from the Soviet Union, there was a call to have the Anahit statue returned to Armenia. But because it was not technically stolen, nor found on current Armenian territory, Armenia had even less of a claim to the statue than Greece and Egypt have on their various artifacts in the British Museum. The Goddess returns to her homeland in September because of a deal the Armenian Museum of History was able to make, loaning the British Museum some of their artifacts in exchange. She returns to a country in turmoil, but perhaps at a time when Armenia needs her most. The Armenian Gods represent an inner-strength that I think was lost when the country converted to Christianity.





 Pictured: Armenia’s last pagan temple, Garni 



The Armenian Gods


Anahit was part of a pantheon of nine main Gods and Goddesses (Astvadzner) worshiped in the Kingdom of Armenia from around 600 BC to 301 AD. Under the preceding Urartian pantheon there were 72, but these deities were all merged over time. 


Anahit - (Ah-nah-heet) Goddess of Motherhood, Wisdom and Fertility 


Aramazd - (Ar-ah-mahzd) Solar and Creator deity, head of the pantheon and Anahit’s consort


Astghik - (Ahst-reek) Goddess of Love , Rain and Water


Mihr - (Mee-hur) God of Light and Truth


Nané - (Nah-neh) War Goddess, “Grandmother of the Gods”


Spandaramet - (Spahn-dah-ra-met) Goddess of the Earth, the Underworld and of Wine


Tir - (Teer) God of Writing, Dreams and Death


Tsovinar - (Tsoh-vee-nar) Goddess of the Sea and Violent Storms


Vahagn - (Vah-ha-gun) God of Storms and Dragonslaying 





Hymn to Anahit (my rough translation) 


The world would be empty,

if there was no Mother.

Who else would give birth to the Gods?

Who else would sing with Ari (the Sun)?

Who would measure the pain of the World? 

Who in the world would show sympathy,

Who would sow the love of Spring…?

But would there be a Spring if there was no Mother?

If there was no Mother, what would a Father do?

Would the Sun still be itself?

Mothers were created in Anahit,

It was through motherhood that the Gods were created, 

And the Gods themselves call Anahit Mother. 



Vahagn Vishapakagh (Vah -hah-gun, Armenian: Վահագն) is a god of fire, lightning, thunder and war worshiped anciently and by modern neopagans in Armenia. Some time in his existence, he formed a "triad" with Aramazd and Anahit. The Christian historian Moses Khorenatsi preserved a fragment of an ancient song dedicated to  Vahagn, which provides a clue to his nature and origin:


In travail were heaven and earth,

In travail, too, the purple sea!

The travail held in the sea the small red reed.

Through the hollow of the stalk came forth smoke,

Through the hollow of the stalk came forth flame,

And out of the flame a youth ran!

Fiery hair had he,

Ay, too, he had flaming beard,

And his eyes, they were as suns!


Other parts of the song, now lost, said that Vahagn fought and conquered dragons, hence his title Vishapakagh, "dragon reaper", where dragons in Armenian lore are identified as "Vishaps". This gives him a similar root with other Indo-European myths known as the Chaoskampf, in which a storm God fights a dragon or serpent associated with destruction and chaos (Other examples of Chaoskampf include Hercules versus the hydra, Set versus the Chaos Serpent, Marduk versus Tiamat, etc.)



My artwork of Astghik


 

Astghik, (Ahst-reek, Armenian: Աստղիկ) was worshiped as the Armenian pagan deity of fertility and love from prehistoric times, later was the wife or lover of Vahagn. In the later heathen period she became the goddess of love, maidenly beauty, and water sources and springs.


The Vartavar festival is devoted to Astghik, celebrated in mid July and was transformed into the Christian holiday of the transfiguration of Jesus, and is still celebrated by the Armenians 90 days after Easter (Zatik). As in pre-Christian times, on the day of this fest the people release doves and sprinkle water on each other with wishes of health and good luck. This was meant as an act of sympathetic magic, hoping that pouring water on one another would prompt Astghik to bring rain and drench everyone. While deprived of its original meaning, it is impossible to walk outside in Armenia on that day without being drenched by young pranksters, or older people with a sense of humor. Today it is celebrated the traditional way by Armenian Neopaganism; neopagan priests give sermons at the Temple of Garni hoping for Astghik to bless Armenia with rain during the hot summer season, sprinkle the audience with rose water, and hand out wine and apricots as the audience dances and celebrates.


 

Tir’s statue at Mt. Nemrut


Tir is the god of literature, science, and art, and an interpreter of dreams, in Armenian paganism. Tir was a messenger of Aramazd. He was a fortune-teller and a guide of the dead person's soul. Another name for Tir was Grogh (meaning writer or scribe), though this might be a fusion of two originally distinct deities.


His biggest temple, known as the Erazamuyn (translated from Armenian "place where dreams are explained"), stood at what is today the ruined Zvartnots cathedral; uthe original design of the temple is still very evident in its construction as it is very different from the typical Armenian church, being circular, elevated by large steps and lined with columns. At Tir's temple, priests would interpret peoples dreams and tell their fortunes, and the temple also served as a library and academy.


Tir acted as a scribe to the Gods, and when someone was born he would write their name into the Book of Life; and on the forehead he imprinted the newborn’s fate, predetermining the given lifespan. He keenly observed everyone and entered all the sins and good deeds into his special folio, to read them during the final judgment. 


Trndez


A Hymn to Trndez


Who was born of the Divine heavens

And ignited by the fire of the sun?

You, Vahagn, like a torch,

The ritual of bonfire - Armenian Trndez. 


The thirsty fire, the leap of faith 

You, with fiery hair, are the herald of spring, 

The fiery leap of our ancestral spirit, 

Who, Vahagn - Armenian Trndez. 


A dance of fiery anointed bonfires, 

and a star-lit hymn 

You, our holy baptism and fiery spirit, 

Who, Vahagn - Armenian Trndez.



Trndez is Armenia’s native holiday for lovers, which, maybe not coincidentally, falls upon the day before Valentine’s day. It is interesting that it falls around the same time of the year; perhaps it’s the associations of late winter which bring to mind thoughts of love and fertility across different cultures of the northern hemisphere. It could also be a result of ancient Armenia’s contact with Rome or Greece or other civilizations, or who knows, maybe there’s something even more profound to it. During the holiday a large bonfire is lit, and there’s singing and line dancing around the fire, before newlyweds and young women take turns jumping over the bonfire. Traditionally it was the day where couples in arranged marriages first got to meet one another, but of course that’s no longer practiced. The bonfire is symbolic of the growing power of the sun as the days begin to lengthen, and has the added symbolic benefit of energetic purification. You can also make a wish while jumping, and maybe have it granted.


The main neopagan sect in Armenia, the Arordineri Ukht (Order of the Children of Ari), explain on their Facebook page:


            “Trndez, in essence, symbolizes the waning of winter and the arrival of spring. The origin of this holiday in folklore is related to Vahagn, the God of Fire. Tired of the frigid winter, Armenians burn bonfires to encourage the sun and accelerate the coming of spring. Born of the divine fire of the sun, Vahagn kills the dragon that guards and blocks the water source, freeing the flow of the water and causing the soil to blossom. Hence fire defeats the winter.

            The main symbol of Trndez is the bonfire over which newlyweds jump holding hands. It is also a holiday for blessing the family, especially families with a newborn. It is widely believed that if a couple can hold hands while jumping over the fire, their love will be eternal. In ancient times, the fire was built by burning wheat.”


Sunday, March 17, 2024

Today’s Mixtape: 1992 in Music

 




I want to start blogging again. Been in a bit of a creative drought since like, last September maybe. But it’s spring time now. Time to start anew. Maybe whenever I do these little one hour mixtapes I’ve been doing, I’ll post them in my blog. 


For a long time, if I saw a 1 hour blank tape at a thrift store, I would pass it up. 1 hour isn’t long enough for my highly conceptual themed mixtapes. Even a blank CD is longer. But, I’ve since relented, basically ever since I got that really nice cassette deck from my neighbor for free. There are still things you can do with them. You can put an album on one if it’s short enough, you can put a live concert on one, or you can do little mixies like this one. I’ve done one for the years 1983, 1986, 1990, and 1999 so far. 


This tape was labeled “Christmas 1992”, and contained a recording of some kids singing Christmas carols at a church or something. Welp, sorry kids, I’ve recorded over you with the best grunge, goth rock, dark wave and alternative rock of 1992. All songs that existed when this tape was first recorded, some hits, some obscure. And this playlist is based off the 1992 section of my new and improved YouTube playlist, The 1990s in Music. That’s something else I should blog about. I’ve also done the 1980s all the way to the 2020s so far. Yes, enough time has gone by for me to start one for this decade, although it is a work in progress obviously.

Anyway, the track listing in case my handwriting is bad for some people.


Side A


Alice in Chains - Would?

Stone Temple Pilots - Creep

Passion Noire - Every Day

And One - Secret Boy

Type O Negative - Summer Girl (demo)

Nirvana - Aneurysm 

Faith No More - Mid-Life Crisis

Sega - The Mystic Cave Zone (filler for the end of the tape from Sonic the Hedgehog 2 on Sega Genesis, truly game of the year)


Side B 


White Zombie - Thunder Kiss 65

Ministry - Just One Fix

Garten Kirkhof - Le Dormeur

The Wake - Sideshow

13 Candles - The Traveler

Pantera - This Love

Green Day - Welcome to Paradise

Rage Against the Machine - Killing in the Name


Last song cuts off at the end, but that’s what I get for using a 1 hour tape.

Saturday, February 3, 2024

Traits of the Sha 𓃩𓃪𓃫

First, an update.

Things have been very busy these past few months, since about September. Lots of medical appointments and MRIs for my various chronic pain ailments (which take up a lot more time than you might think), taking care of my son, then the holidays came up, among other things. I haven’t even been able to keep up with my webcomic, let alone my blog. I can’t blame it all on that though. The time is there I just haven’t been utilizing it correctly. I just haven’t felt very motivated. Maybe it’s a bit of seasonal depression. I keep hoping I’ll bounce back and find that old creative drive again, but so far it hasn’t happened. At some point I realized that I was the only one who was stressing out about about sticking to the webcomic’s release schedule, so when I relaxed on that, I just kind of lapsed on everything. I miss doing my top songs of the month lists. Whenever I do it again I’ll have to include my top picks for December and January. I certainly haven’t stopped listening to new music, or making mixtapes. In fact this month marks the 25th anniversary of my first mixtape. 


Anyway, onto the topic at hand. Even though I’ve been in this creative funk, I still feel like I have another novel brewing. Before I get serious about writing it though I need to finish that Oz book of mine. I don’t mind sharing excerpts here and there, either on this blog or the Alcatraz High blog, because it ties into the story of my webcomic. In any case, I’ve been writing my own version of Egyptian mythology. A retelling of the story of Set versus Osiris/Horus but from a more neutral perspective. I’m still acknowledging Set’s faults (he can be very dramatic and prone to rash decisions), but Isis wasn’t exactly devoid of fault herself, and is a bit of a manipulator who used underhanded tactics to put her husband and later her son on the throne. In this story, Set’s animal, the sha, is a real creature that existed once but has gone extinct. 


So this is some detail on the sha:



 Art by me


The sha is a creature that was native to northern Africa when the Sahara was green and fertile. It belongs to the Orycteropodidae order, whose only surviving species is the aardvark. The sha split off from the common ancestor it shares with the aardvark millions of years ago, and through convergent evolution began to resemble a canine. They are characterized by a slender, greyhound-like body with catlike retractable claws on its paws, tall rectangular ears that are slightly wider at the top, a long drooping snout, red eyes, and a forked tail that is usually held upright. Each tail has a uniquely-shaped fork; males have two prongs, females have three. Males are larger and more robust than females, and grow manes of red fur, while the rest of the fur on their body can vary between greyish-brown and black. Their eyes have an extra, transparent eyelid to protect from sand. 


Males are more rare than females as well, only about two of every five shas born are males. Shas are pack animals, commonly consisting of an alpha male (often the largest and strongest), a beta male (generally smaller and submissive), and 2-5 females. They seemingly make no preference in their sexual encounters, with very few exclusively heterosexual or homosexual. 


As they evolved away from the common ancestor they share with the aardvark, they became omnivores and developed a diverse set of teeth that could handle both meat and plants. The sha can hunt when necessary but is normally a scavenger and gatherer of plants. Like lions, the females do most of the hunting and scavenging. Meanwhile the males gather plants, and protect their territory. One of their favorite foods is lettuce. Shas are highly intelligent creatures, surpassing that of any canine or feline, and comparable to that of a dolphin. 


Decline and Extinction 


The end of the last Ice Age spelled doom for the sha, as Northern Africa dried up. Shas began to adapt for life in the sand dunes with extra eyelids for protection, but it wasn’t enough. Sha populations began to plummet, with the last concentrations of them being near oases and along the Nile river. During the predynastic period of Egypt they became associated with the God Set, and in Lybia, the God Ash. Ash worship would later enter Egypt, Ash being the God of oases and wine, Set being the God of deserts, storms and chaos. During violent thunder storms or suffocating sandstorms the sha would stand tall and unaffected, standing atop hills or sand dunes and howling at the thunder. This led to the folk belief that shas caused storms, which worked its way into the worship of Set. Another folk belief that developed was that following a sha when you were lost in the desert would lead you to an oasis, which may have had some basis in truth, although it may be doubtful that a sha would deliberately lead a human to an oasis. This became one of the aspects of Ash, and one who was lost in the desert would pray to Ash to send one of his shas to lead them to safety. Ash and Set came to embody the two different aspects of the sha; benevolence and chaos. The area around the city of Nubt (later known as Ombos) had a sizable population of shas, hence it becoming a major center for the worship of both Set and Ash. 


During the 4th Dynasty, the worship of Osiris spread. According to the Osiris cycle, Set is a villainous God who killed his brother and siezed control of Egypt, and later battled Horus, the son of Osiris, for the throne. As anti-Set sentiment gradually rose, especially by the end of the New Kingdom when he came to be associated with Egypt’s foreign enemies, people began killing the shas off. Some of the last of the shas became royal pets that were kept in secret lest an overzealous Osiris worshiper kill them. Sadly, by the late period and Egypt’s colonization by the Greeks and Romans, the people completely turned their backs on Set, equating him with evil and killing any animals sacred to Set, especially shas. And once Christianity was forced onto Egypt by Rome, any records of shas existing were destroyed at the Library of Alexandria. 


In modern times, no confirmed remains of shas have ever been found, although if there were, it would be quite easy to mistake them for the remains of a jackal or other canine thanks to the similar bone structure. 


Friday, December 22, 2023

My 42 Negative Confessions to Ma’at


Far from the inflexible “Ten Commandments” of the Bible, the 42 Negative Confessions to Ma’at were catered to the individual, and whatever moral code they followed. The one you see getting passed around a lot is from Ani’s Book of the Dead papyrus, but that was just one of many. I have taken that one and tweaked it to my liking, giving it a modern update and bending it to my particular moral code, what I find to be within Ma’at. Hopefully it will be enough to keep Anubis from tossing my heart to Ammit the Devourer.  


42 Negative Confessions of Suren

  1. I have not done what I or the Netjeru consider immoral.
  2. I have not committed robbery with violence.
  3. I have not stolen personal belongings.
  4. I have not murdered anyone.
  5. I have not stolen food from any individual. 
  6. I have not swindled anyone.
  7. I have not stolen offerings to any God or Goddess.
  8. I have not told harmful lies.
  9. I have not hated someone based only on their identity. 
  10. I have not cursed anyone unjustly. 
  11. I have not closed my ears to the truth.
  12. I have not committed adultery. 
  13. I have not purposely made someone cry.
  14. I have not felt sorrow without reason (and mental illness is a reason).
  15. I have not attacked someone except in self defense. 
  16. I have not been deceitful.
  17. I have not stolen someone’s land. 
  18. I have not shown disrespect to the Earth or its creatures. 
  19. I have not knowingly falsely accused anyone.
  20. I have not been angry without reason (mental illness is a reason). 
  21. I have not seduced another’s spouse.
  22. I have not knowingly polluted myself, taken any hard drugs or purposely drank alcohol to excess. 
  23. I have not terrorized anyone.
  24. I have not disobeyed any law that I found to be just. 
  25. I have not purposely let my emotions overcome my rationality. 
  26. I have not disrespected the religion of others if their religion is not harmful.
  27. I have not initiated violence.
  28. I have not caused disruption of peace.
  29. I have not overstepped my boundaries of concern. 
  30. I have not been actively hypocritical, and correct myself if I realize I am being hypocritical. 
  31. I have not closed my ears to other points of view. 
  32. I have not subverted the will of others for no reason.
  33. I have not acted on evil thoughts.
  34. I have not polluted the water.
  35. I have not been arrogant or overtly egotistical.
  36. I have not acted superior to anyone. 
  37. I have not blinded myself to my social privileges as a white-passing heterosexual male and have stood up for those less privileged than myself to the best of my ability. 
  38. I have not been blinded by pride.
  39. I have not been bigoted or sexist. 
  40. I have not disrespected the dead, unless their actions in life has made them undeserving of respect. 
  41. I have not abused my child. 
  42. I have not been greedy, or a slave to the concept of money. 


Here’s the list I was going off of:

https://ia902309.us.archive.org/29/items/aidshiv/MAAT/MAAT 42 Laws.pdf


Thursday, November 30, 2023

Top Songs of the Month ~ November 2023 ~

 I realize I’ve left my blog in somewhat of a state of disarray since October. Well, time to do my monthly tradition again, I’ll try to actually finish it this time. Been hard at work on my webcomic, and just trying to keep busy so that the bad thoughts don’t come back and take over the brain. For the last few weeks I’ve been on a Slowed + Reverb kick. This is a trend on YouTube where people take a song, slow it down and add echoing effects to the vocals and percussion, aka reverb. Now it’s one thing to do it to a corny pop song or some Jpop or something, which you see a lot of, but when you do it to something like The Cure, Type O Negative, Nirvana or Alice in Chains, it super-charges the darkness and depression in the song. Related is the trend of making “Doomer” versions of songs, which while also slowing the song down adds some distortion and crackling effects, making it sound like it’s being played on a dying record player in the next room from you. I don’t know why I seek this stuff out, I guess it’s this time of year. Last year it was the acoustic stuff that got me through winter. I made a playlist of my favorites, and I picked the favorites from this playlist and made a 90 minute mixtape a couple weeks ago too. Have a listen if you wish, it’s got goth, grunge, alternative rock, and a few other genres. 


Rob Zombie ~ Return of the Phantom Stranger (Slowed + Reverb)


I never expected Rob Zombie to make my lists again. I liked his first two albums back when I was in my mid-teens and he was kind of a stepping stone into metal for me, but I never liked the whole American nationalist biker direction he went with after his second album (makes me think of The Undertaker from WWE who also went from being an undead zombie to a nationalist biker around the same time for some reason), nor did I like when he became the director of crappy horror movie remakes, but hear me out. This version of the song is like 400% more awesome than the original, and it was always one of the better Rob Zombie songs anyway, although overlooked. It was on his first solo album Hellbilly Deluxe, which when I was 15 was like the darkest music I had ever heard. Just listen to that intro, with the Latin chanting and then the pipe organs. I also like that skeleton animation in the video, it must adds to it. 


Slow Danse with the Dead ~ Are You Tortured?




Extra Bleu Ciel ~ Black is Not Dark Enough 






Kalte Nacht ~ Inmost Desire?





Altar Ego ~ Altar Ego


One of those titular triple-treats, self-titled songs on a self-titled album. Some good Australian post-punk from 1984, an amazing year for music by the way. 




Defensa Eslava ~ El Ejercicio de la Agonia



This song sounds like background music from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. Like I picture this music playing over a scene transition where it shows Skeletor’s castle or something. 

Top 3 Songs of November Over the Years


 November 2003

1. Dimmu Borgir ~ Eradication Instincts Defined 
2. Cradle of Filth ~ Mannequin 
3. Stratovarius ~ Know the Difference 


November 2008

1. Das Ich ~ Destillat (Club Mix)
2. E Nomine ~ Der Ring der Nibelungen
3. Faith No More ~ Epic


November 2013

1. Light Asylum ~ Dark Allies
2. The Breakup ~ Who’s Crying Now? 
3. Eisbrecher ~ Kein Liebe

November 2018

1. Ministry ~ Game Over
2. VNV Nation ~ Carbon
3. Symtosis ~ Our Future is War 

Friday, October 27, 2023

Top 5 Songs of the Month ~ October 2023 ~

I’ve spent the last month or so grieving over the latest stage of the Armenian genocide, which was the complete destruction of Artsakh by Azerbaijan. I wrote a separate rant blog about that rather than vent here. 


And what music has been helping me cope with these dark days? Spoiler, a lot of it is dark. Listening to happy music just doesn’t work. Although I guess listening to nostalgic 90s alternative rock music helps a little. I’ve done a bit of that, working on my 90s YouTube playlist, a potent mix of alternative rock, grunge, nu-metal, black metal, a few guilty pleasures, and of course underground goth music, interspersed with Beavis and Butthead segments and a few MTV bumpers (most of which are on my 80s playlist). But I don’t want to do that constantly, and even that music isn’t necessarily “happy”. It works until “Disarm” by Smashing Pumpkins comes on and I start bawling. (Not actually, but it tugs  on the heartstrings. “I used to beee a little boy”. Yeah.)  Also just keeping my nose in books about ancient Egypt, studying their religion and teaching myself hieroglyphs, helps too. It’s a coping mechanism, escapism. 


I’ll be looking at songs of Octobers past as well. There are sure to be a few spooky selections from my top 3 picks in 2003, 2008, 2013 and 2018.



Cashiari ~ Oscura Noche



Not only is this a great Halloween song, it fits my mood perfectly. I first mentioned Cashiari last month, a Peruvian experimental dark-electro band. 


Blurpz ~ Escape


A Dutch coldwave track from 1983.


Day After ~ Ticking Away




Fearing ~ Scars




Das Kelzer ~ Light Grey





Antaios Nocturne ~ Don’t Forget to Smile




Top 3 Songs of October Over the Years


October 2003

1. Dimmu Borgir ~ Hybrid Stigmata
2. Kraftwerk ~ Vitamin
3. Dimmu Borgir ~ Alt Lys er Svonnet Hen


October 2008

1. Big Bad Voodoo Daddy ~ Save my Soul
2. Das Ich - Zuckerbrot und Peitsche
3. Aurelio Voltaire ~ Land of the Dead


October 2013

1. Ministry ~ I Wanted to Tell Her
2. Ayria ~ Big City Lullaby 
3. The Birthday Massacre ~ Blue

October 2018

1. Twin Tribes ~ Still in Still
2. Asylum Party ~ La Nuit
3. Lebanon Hanover ~ Sadness is Rebellion 

Friday, October 6, 2023

Some Last Words on Artsakh

 I’m going to go into diary-mode for a moment, and it’s going to get very dark, bare with me. I was originally going to write this on my Top Songs of the Month blog, but it got too long and dark. I’ve spent the last month or so grieving over the latest stage of the Armenian genocide, which was the complete destruction of Artsakh by Azerbaijan. Very sad to say, it kind of helps that I didn’t hold much hope for it after the 2020 war. I expected it to be wiped off the map eventually. Pessimism softens the blow. Like the Slow Danse with the Dead song “So Obnoxious” says, to be overly optimistic is the worst. Will the rest of Armenia follow? Since nobody seems to give a single shit about Armenia enough to help, or even just stop buying Azeri oil and gas and selling them weapons, it doesn’t look good. A lot of international fist shaking might happen, but nothing else of consequence. Imagine if one day Israel decided to just bulldoze all of Palestine, wipe it off the map and kill a bunch of people. It would be all over the news, people would be outraged. Israel might even face some kind of international consequences if it did that. Same thing happens to the Armenians, it’s chirping crickets. We suffer alone. If you read my blogs from around Fall 2020 you’ll see I’ve been through all this grief before, back then. That’s the only reason my depression isn’t as bad as it would be if this happened all at once. It feels like you’ve had a loved one on life support for three years, and they finally pulled the plug. You knew it was coming, you had three years to reach some sort of acceptance over it, but when it happens it’s still pretty devastating, no matter how much you prepared yourself. Plus I have other stuff going on in my personal life compounding the depression. Every time I start to feel a little better something else happens.


Only thing I can do, sadly, is look away, distract myself. Some might criticize me for that, but I don’t have the power to change anything by myself, so doom-scrolling about it just becomes self-punishing. I do care. I care too much. I’ve mostly stayed off Facebook, because I’m far too entrenched in the Armenian community to avoid seeing news about all the gruesome details. I can avoid it more easily on Reddit and YouTube (going to the Armenia subreddit right now would probably ruin my mood for weeks and be very self-destructive, so I unfollowed it). I plan on donating to help out the refugees whenever I have spare money to do so. It’s all I can do. That and wait for climate change to cause wet bulb in Baku and suffocate everyone. I looked it up, Azerbaijan is going down once climate change really kicks in, not to mention when their oil reserves dry up. Fuck them, they’ll get what’s coming to them. I hope a bunch of those goat-fuckers step on land mines in Artsakh. May the “Land of Fire” burn. That koombaya, “coexist” bullshit doesn’t work in the real world. You can’t coexist with people who literally want to kill you. Yeah I know not every Azeri is a bad person, but the very few who disagree with what their genocidal fascist government is doing sure aren’t doing anything to stop them. You could try to use that logic against the US and blame every American citizen for the Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan wars, but at least there were people protesting those wars, unlike in Azerbaijan. Their silence is complicity. Anyway, that’s all I’m going to say about that subject. I must avoid thinking about it to even function, but at least I got it off my chest.