Halloween is Cancelled; Samhain is Not

 

Between the coronavirus pandemic, which believe me is bad enough, and the war in Armenia with my homeland bombed and in flames, as far as I am concerned, there is no Halloween this year. Anything I do this year in relation to Halloween, like taking my kid Trick or Treating, is merely an act. Going through the motions. I am not in the Halloween spirit at all. Not in the slightest. If it were strictly up to me I wouldn’t celebrate it at all this year. Perhaps in some ways when you’re a goth and live in darkness all year, like I do, Halloween can become just another day. We have been wearing masks most of the year already, thanks to the pandemic. Even so, I usually enjoy Halloween. It’s usually my favorite holiday. Not this time. 

However, in lieu of Halloween, I can instead turn to its Celtic pagan root, Samhain. A day to honor the dead ancestors. That feels much more appropriate this year. Although I wouldn’t call myself either a Druid or a Wiccan, strictly speaking, I dabbled in Wicca in my early days as a pagan and used it as somewhat of a foundation for my practice. As it stands now I am more of a pantheist and panpsychist, and believe the universe has a consciousness, particularly stars and other celestial bodies. I have some Scottish and Irish blood through my mother, so it isn’t quite cultural appropriation, although I can add Armenian elements to the holiday. As a nerdy little aside, the ancient Armenian calendar designates this month as Սահմի (Sahmi). Sounds a bit like Samhain, does it not? I know Samhain is actually pronounced like “Sow-wen”, but still, curious. Was there a cultural exchange between ancient Armenia and the ancient Celts? Or perhaps it just goes back to the original Indo-European language. But, it could be a coincidence too.

 As you can see in the picture above, I have assembled a shrine especially for Samhain in my bedroom, right beside my regular shrine. Included are photographs of deceased relatives (I wish I had more). These are my paternal grandparents Suren and Olga, Suren’s older brother in the black and white photo beside him (I believe that’s him in the picture anyway, I don’t think anyone is completely sure who it is), and a picture with my recently deceased distant cousin (second soldier from the right). In front of that picture is a feather, which represents the Aralez, a winged wolf from Armenian mythology who could resurrect fallen soldiers with their licks and thus represent healing and protection for the soldiers fighting the invasion of Armenia. The granite stone came from my grandfather’s village Shvanidzor. It called to me when I was there, and I grabbed it. I have a trilobite fossil as part of the shrine to represent humanity’s primordial ancestors of prehistory (because why not?). Every life form that lives, has ever lived and will ever live, has changed the universe in their own small way, and that is what the fossil symbolizes. Overlooking the shrine is the Urartian God Khaldi, a God of war and victory, a figure I got at Erebuni in Yerevan, Armenia. Tonight I will burn a candle, recite poems and burn incense, focusing my energy toward Armenia’s victory, healing for those harmed by the war and the country itself, and peace. My other plans for today include cooking ghapama, an Armenian dish of rice, nuts and dried fruit cooked inside a pumpkin.

The moon is full, and it’s a blue moon at that. If ever there was a time to try to dabble in magic, this is the night. To quote a certain voice sample that appears in a song by Godsmack, “Does the moon actually possess such strange powers? Or is it all just...lunacy?” I can’t explain in scientific terms why the full moon has a certain energy to it, but I have always felt that it does. It is the daytime on another world, reflected back on us. Obviously the sun has even more energy, being the actual source of moonlight, but perhaps it is simply too strong to wield other than using it as solar power, which even the strictest atheist can agree exists. Maybe this is all nothing more than a coping mechanism made to make me feel like I have more control over the world than I really do. I am open to it being nothing more than that, if it is. But if it is all just “hocus pocus” or lunacy, at least it isn’t hurting anyone really. Except maybe the corrupt genocidal leaders of Turkey and Azerbaijan, I hope. 

I called this blog entry Part 1 in case I have more to say in retrospect tomorrow. I may or may not follow up. If I don’t then this will be the only part and I will change the title.