I have been lurking around in the Fire Emblem community for a couple months now; despite being a fan of the games for many years, for some reason it never occurred to me to seek out its fandom until recently. This may have to do with the fact that before the most recent game, Fire Emblem: Three Houses, became a hit, the fandom was significantly smaller. In any case, I started seeing character charts being shared around such as this:
This one is for Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn, a title for the Nintendo Wii. Having played the game, the chart is mostly accurate. Although, that bald overweight guy under Chaotic Angry ought to be under Chaotic Horny if you ask me, as he is quite lecherous. He is a slave trader who has Reyson, a member of the angel-like Serenes species who you see under Angry Angry (his anger comes from being one of three survivors of a genocide against his species, so it’s very understandable), kidnapped, and then proceeds to fawn over him in a suggestive manner. You get the feeling he has a fetish for the Serenes. Why they gave this gross character the coolest theme in the game I don’t know. This all happens in the prequel to this game, Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance, by the way. In Radiant Dawn, despite him pretty clearly dying in the previous game, they bring him back with no explanation and he becomes a good guy. That game seems like it was written by completely different people as it ruins the characterizations of a lot of characters from the previous one. I don’t forgive Oliver for being a disgusting, perverted slave-holder, but the game expects you to.
These have been made for basically all of the Fire Emblem games. But I decided to make one myself, not for Fire Emblem, but for the Oz series. With forty books, the series contains hundreds of characters. Certainly making such a chart would be no problem, right? So I got the template first:
I grabbed an already done chart and erased the Fire Emblem characters in the Comic Draw program I use for my webcomic (follow the shameless plug). Next, I needed to compile a list. This was difficult, especially since there aren’t many “horny” characters in the Oz books. But I managed, by digging up some more obscure ones. Finding corresponding illustrations was usually quite easy thanks to the Oz Fandom Wiki and Project Gutenberg, but challenging at times if they weren’t from one of the public domain books. All are by John R. Neill save for the Wicked Witch of the West, by W.W. Denslow. Here’s the chart, and a list of characters with explanations.
Pure Pure: Dorothy - Plenty of characters would fit in this category; Ozma, Glinda, Betsy, Ojo, etc. I went with Dorothy due to her prominence in the earlier and more famous Oz books.
Pure Angry: Queen Ann - Angry at her status as queen of an irrelevant kingdom in Oz, but harmless overall.
Pure Horny: Tin Woodman - He was horny when he was Nick Chopper, before he became tin. And he’s pure-hearted.
Pure Stupid: The Scarecrow - He does get smarter over the course of the books, but that brain the Wizard gave him was a total placebo. It gave him confidence, not intelligence. But his lack of intelligence in the early books may just stem from the fact that he was inexperienced, having come to life not long before Dorothy discovered him. He was never as stupid as he thought he was in the first book, but never as smart as he thought he was in the other books.
Pure Chaotic: Scraps - Scraps is unpredictable, but pure-hearted. Her innocence can lead her to be unknowingly mean occasionally, but that’s the chaos.
Angry Pure: Woozy - He gets inexplicably furious when you say the words krizzle-kroo. But otherwise is calm-tempered and benevolent.
Angry Angry: Ruggedo - This is the former Nome King’s defining character trait. He never gets over losing his Magic Belt, and later his throne, thanks to the meddling of Ozma and her friends.
Angry Horny: Googly-Goo - A noble from the kingdom of Jinxland who tries to force Princess Gloria to marry him, when she has eyes for the gardener Pon.
Angry Stupid: Jinjur - Angry over Oz’s patriarchy, she managed to take over Oz with an army of women wielding sewing needles, but had no plan for what to do after taking the throne. Leading to her quick defeat.
Angry Chaotic: Wicked Witch of the West - The most well-known villain of the series. She has all sorts of tricks up her sleeves, so you don’t know what she will do next. She’s also very angry.
Horny Pure: Jo Files - A member of Queen Ann’s army who falls in love with a Rose Princess named Ozga. The romance is rushed and undeveloped, but writing love stories in the Oz series wasn’t Baum’s strong suit. Maybe he had better love stories in his adult novels, I’m not sure. I need to read them.
Horny Angry: Nimmie Amee - Her anger is understandable when both her boyfriends were gradually dismembered and replaced with tin parts, and eventually abandoned her. The Tin Woodman in particular could have sought her out a lot sooner than he did. Her anger is justified.
Horny Horny: Captain Fyter - Nimmie’s other ex-boyfriend. There’s not much more to his character than this, making horny his only real trait.
Horny Stupid: Chopfyt - Nimmie’s current boyfriend, a Frankenstein monster made up of Nick Chopper and Captain Fyter’s discarded body parts. Not much going on in his brain.
Horny Chaotic: Mogodore the Mighty - From Jack Pumpkinhead of Oz, this villainous baron first tries to force Princess Shirley Sunshine to marry him, but after he conquers the Emerald City in an embarrassingly low moment for Ozma’s rule (he conquered it while everyone was playing Blind Man’s Bluff and was blindfolded), he decides to force Ozma to marry him instead. Took some serious digging to get that illustration by the way, since his book is still under copyright. You’re welcome.
Stupid Pure: Jack Pumpkinhead - He often admits to being dim-witted, but that comes with having a pumpkin for a head. He did defeat Mogodore, though.
Stupid Angry: The Mangaboos - Pictured is Gwig, their sorcerer, but the subterranean Mangaboos are plant people that are hostile to outsiders, and not too bright. This could also apply to any number of Oz’s small kingdoms visited in filler chapters.
Stupid Horny: Princess Gloria - She’s in love with a gardener named Pon, but is just a damsel in distress.
Stupid Stupid: Button-Bright - Particularly in his first appearance, where all he ever says is “Don’t know”. Dorothy calls him stupid at one point. He gets wiser in later books.
Stupid Chaotic: Notta Bit More - A bungling clown from The Cowardly Lion of Oz who refuses to change his strategy in dealing with threats no matter how many times his strategy fails. He’s chaotic in the same way Scraps is. You would have to be chaotic to accidentally stumble upon a nonsense spell that sends one to Oz.
Chaotic Pure: Handy Mandy - A seven-armed goat herder who doesn’t take smack from anyone. Her temper can provoke Oz’s stupid-angry filler kingdoms, but she’s got a heart of gold and ends up saving Oz.
Chaotic Angry: Mombi - Another wicked witch. Her bitterness may stem from the fact that she never got to become the Wicked Witch of the North.
Chaotic Horny: Glegg - A creeper from Kabumpo in Oz who wouldn’t take no for an answer when Princess Peg Amy rejected him, so he turned her into a tree. Another victim of Ruth Plumly Thompson’s bloodthirsty version of Ozma, he was actually executed by being made to drink one of his own potions. That illustration of him is hilarious, by the way.
Chaotic Stupid: The Whimsies - A malicious race of beings with tiny heads that leave little room for brains. The Nome King recruited them to help invade Oz one time.
Chaotic Chaotic: The First and Foremost - He is actually the most powerful and feared villain in the Oz series, as the most powerful of the Phanfasms, another malicious race that the Nome King recruited for his invasion of Oz. They agreed to join because they like to make people suffer.
Anyway, that’s the list. Since most Oz books have no romance, the Horny section includes basically any character who ever showed interest in romance at any point. Baum avoided romance most of the time, while Thompson basically told the same love story over and over, and the characters tended to fall under Pure Horny in every case. Notably I couldn’t find anyplace to put The Wizard or the Cowardly Lion. They just don’t seem to fall under any of these categories. There needed to be a cowardly and a shady column for them.
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