I’ve seen the above image, or some
variation of it, circulated on Facebook several times. My favored fantasy world
is never included. But, I have to be honest, I hate it here in this world. A
world on the brink of climactic disaster. Starvation, murder, racism,
genocides, greedy corporations, ineffectual, corrupt and selfish politicians on
the payrolls of the super-rich, for-profit prisons, wage slavery, no one
responsible getting their comeuppance for anything. I want to move somewhere
else. But where? Can you really escape it in another country? What if it were possible to leave this world, and go to a
fictional fantasy world? And which one would be best to live in? I felt like pondering if, hypothetically speaking, I would actually like to
live in each one if I somehow found myself there. I’m going to put each world
to the test, weight all the pros and cons, and decide which one I’d rather live
in, the same thing I would do if I was going to move to a real place. (As far
as the above image goes, I’m skipping Camelot because I don’t really think of
it as a fantasy world, it’s just medieval England; and Westeros from Game of
Thrones is gonna be a no from me, it actually sounds a lot worse than our
world! Or at least as bad.) You too can decide for yourself.
Narnia
·
A
brief overview.
Narnia
is a fantasy world described in C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia series.
Located on the east coast of a largely unexplored fantasy continent, with some
surrounding countries, it is prone to being taken over by evil rulers for
centuries at a time until the mythical lion Aslan decides to appear and use
children from the Outside World to save the day (in an arguably colonial “white
savior” fantasy scenario). Despite being rooted in European mythology there’s a
strong Christian overtone over the whole place.
·
Geography,
climate, flora and fauna.
Lots
of forests and mountains, as well as a coastal region. The climate is usually
comfortable unless an ice witch takes over and makes an eternal winter choke
the land with snow. All of the usual fantasy races are here, from fauns to
unicorns to centaurs to dragons, and the animals talk.
·
How
do you get there, and how difficult is it to get there?
A
magic wardrobe is the most famous way, but you can also get there through
random portals at train stations, through paintings, and other ways. Seems to
happen completely by chance. It doesn’t seem possible to go there on purpose,
although if you’ve already been there before it’s easier to go again. You never
get there the same way twice.
·
Who
is allowed to go there, and could I bring my family?
Kids
only. Once you hit puberty you’re banned. Aslan doesn’t like teens or adults. Most
people who do go there don’t go alone, so there’s a chance you might bring a
friend or a sibling, as long as they’re also a child. No adult family members.
·
Government
system:
Monarchy.
Sometimes as many as four monarchs, and often it is ruled by lucky children
from the Outside World.
·
Economic
system:
Probably
some kind of feudalism, given that it’s like a medieval European monarchy.
·
How
would I make a living?
Well
you could stumble into an adventure, save Narnia and become a king or queen
fairly easily. If you choose to just keep a low profile and blend in you could
probably get some kind of a medieval profession like a blacksmith or farmer.
But if you even get to Narnia it’s probably because Aslan wants you to save it.
·
What
would the healthcare look like?
It’s
possible to be healed through magic, so there’s that.
·
Additional
Pros:
o
Talking
animals and fantasy creatures are pretty cool.
o
Magic.
o
A
simpler kind of life without having to worry about rents, mortgages or crappy
minimum wage jobs.
o
Beautiful
landscapes, nice climate.
o
Santa
is actually real in Narnia and gives out weapons as presents.
·
Additional
Cons:
o
You
forget your previous life over time.
o
You
will always eventually end up returning to the Outside World. You might be able
to stay for a few decades, but you’ll inevitably be kicked out.
o
Being
called a “son of Adam” or “daughter of Eve” will get old pretty fast.
Especially if you’re not a Christian yourself.
o
Aslan will let evil tyrants rule for years
before he finally decides to do anything about it.
·
Final
verdict:
I
can’t go because I’m over 12 years old anyway. But even if I were allowed to go
there, the cons outweigh the pros, and I’d be sent back eventually anyway, so
I’m not even fully sure it would be worth it. It would really suck going back
to living in this world after having been there for decades. Not that I
wouldn’t go through a wardrobe portal if I actually did find one, because maybe
I’d still rather take my chances in Narnia than the United States. So, it
wouldn’t be my first choice, but it’s possibly better than here as long as you
don’t run afoul of any evil witches.
The Wizarding World of Harry Potter
·
A
brief overview
The
Wizarding World of Harry Potter is basically an alternate universe of our world,
but one where magic-users and mythical beasts are real, yet underground and
hidden from non-magical (muggle) folk.
·
Geography,
climate, flora and fauna.
It’s
basically a different version of our world, so everything’s the same. Except
maybe the magic-users could do something to stop climate change. Also, every mythical beast is real somewhere,
so there’s that.
·
How
do you get there, and how difficult is it to get there?
You’re
either there or you’re not. But to be accepted into the Wizarding World, you
have to be born with magical powers or be born to parents who have them. It’s a
birth lottery. Kind of makes it sound like a metaphor for our world.
·
Who
is allowed to go there, and could I bring my family?
As
previously stated, you have to be born with magical ability. Converting to
Wicca wouldn’t be enough to cut it; you either have magic or you don’t. Your
family will be aware of the Wizarding World, but they won’t get to come with
you to Hogwarts or what have you unless they’re magical too. But at least you
don’t have to completely abandon them.
·
Government
system:
The
Ministry of Magic oversees the Wizarding World. It’s very bureaucratic.
·
Economic
system:
Capitalism,
by the looks of it. They still use money and even have banks, but the Wizarding
World has its own currency. They’re not so above the “muggles” that they don’t rely
on money.
·
How
would I make a living?
Hypothetically,
if you did have magic powers and were allowed into the Wizarding World, your
career prospects would be pretty good, because unlike our schools, a degree in
one of their wizarding schools would actually get you somewhere. You could be a
magical business owner or work at one of the schools. If deemed a muggle
though, you’d be no better off than you are now.
·
What
would the healthcare look like?
Given
that magic exists, you’d be pretty safe from illness and injury. For muggles
it’s the same as this world though; sucks if you’re in the US.
·
Additional
Pros:
o
Magic
being real opens a lot of possibilities.
o
You
don’t have to abandon your loved ones to go there.
o
You
can go to school, get a degree that will actually land you the kind of job you
want, and you won’t be stuck with a student loan debt for the rest of your life
that you can’t declare bankruptcy on!
o
Even
if you’re a muggle, you can hope that wizards would prevent global catastrophes
(such as an asteroid strike, nuclear war or even climate change), if only in
the interest of self-preservation.
·
Additional
Cons:
o
A
birth lottery that determines if you’re a wizard or a muggle; if you’re a
muggle you can’t become a wizard.
o
There’s
a lot of bigotry; “pure-blooded” wizards look down on wizards with muggle
parents, all wizards look down on muggles. And if you are a muggle, it’s
basically the same as living in this world.
o
If
you get put into the Slytherin house everyone hates you.
o
I’m
pretty sure sorting students into four competing houses is a divide-and-conquer
tactic to prevent the students from uniting and challenging the authority of
the school’s leadership.
o
There’s
always the chance that your school will be the site of a wizarding war.
o
Sure,
the wizards might prevent global catastrophe, but they might also just
save themselves and let the muggles die. You never know. They sure didn’t do
anything about World Wars I and II, did they? Couldn’t they have stopped
Hitler?
·
Final
verdict:
Living
in that world as a muggle might be marginally better than living in this world
at least. If I had the magic powers it would be a nice world to live in. But
it’s not different enough from this world for my tastes. Harry Potter’s world
wouldn’t be my preferred choice, but it’s a little better than our world. Not
by a whole lot though. Also, J.K. Rowling’s views on trans people is pretty
disappointing, which has kind of put me off the whole series. That and I’m kind
sick of hearing about Harry Potter all the time anyway, it’s way over-rated.
Wonderland/Looking-Glass World
·
A
brief overview.
They’re
technically two different worlds that Alice visits in two different books, but
I’ll lump them together because they’re pretty similar. Wonderland has a
playing card theme, Looking-Glass World has a chess theme. The people in both
are rather mad, and the laws of physics don’t always make sense. They’re
chaotic worlds. There are many adaptations, but I’ll stick to the books.
·
Geography,
climate, flora and fauna.
It
always seems spring-like. Perhaps the climate and landscape is similar to
England in the springtime. It is heavily forested, and all the animals talk and
act like humans.
·
How
do you get there, and how difficult is it to get there?
With
Wonderland you have to go down the correct rabbit hole, and with Looking-Glass
World you step through a mirror. You probably have to be in England to get to
Wonderland. Looking-Glass World though might be accessible through any mirror,
under the right conditions. It’s all pretty random though.
·
Who
is allowed to go there, and could I bring my family?
Although
Alice was a seven-year-old girl, there’s no stated age requirement to get
there. But she was always alone when she went. So staying there might mean
abandoning your loved ones, unless they happen to be right there with you when
the portal opens.
·
Government
system:
A monarchy. In Wonderland there are four kings and four queens, but the Queen of Hearts seems to have the highest authority, and she is tyrannical. In Looking-Glass World there is a White King and Queen and a Red King and Queen, who are at war with one another, although they also socialize occasionally, so maybe it’s more of a friendly competition than a real war.
·
Economic
system:
None
to speak of, really. Food just kind of appears and no one seems to run out of
it.
·
How
would I make a living?
If
you ended up in either of these places, your best bet would probably be to find
someone you can stand to be around and stay with them, while slowly descending
into madness. But at least you wouldn’t be stuck in a crappy job, right? I’d
personally try to join the Mad Hatter’s tea party.
·
What
would the healthcare look like?
You’re
probably on your own.
·
Additional
Pros:
o You would have a simple,
low-responsibility life.
o
It’s a great place for poets.
o
You
can change your size at will.
o
Taking
shrooms and other drugs is legal.
o
Wonderland
and Looking-Glass World don’t seem to be especially dangerous. There are no
real villains, to the point where several adaptations have felt the need to
elevate the Queen of Hearts into more of a villain than she was in the book, or
make the Jabberwocky into one when he was just in a poem Alice reads.
·
Additional
Cons:
o
Almost
everyone is an unhelpful, easily-offended jerk.
o
Irritating
the Queen of Hearts in any way earns a death sentence.
o
Both
worlds were revealed to be all just a dream, so they might not exist even
within the stories they originate from, adding another layer of potential
impossibility to visit that the other fantasy worlds don’t have.
·
Final
verdict:
Potentially
leaving behind my loved ones makes this a tough sell. But if there was a way to
bring them with me, maybe I wouldn’t mind living in either of these places too
much, once I found my niche. The citizens may be unhelpful jerks, but people
are jerks in this world too after all. Wonderland and Looking-Glass World sound
appealing to me as a total escape from reality.
Neverland
·
A
brief overview
Neverland
is an island fairy country where no one ages, although that seems to depend on
one’s mindset. Ruled by Peter Pan, a careless flying child who although
innocent is also without morals, and his gang of Lost Boys, who are in a
constant Cold War with a group of adult pirates that were stranded there at
some point. There is also a tribe of Natives on the island, who may have lived
there before it was enchanted by fairies.
·
Geography,
climate, flora and fauna.
Neverland
is an island, but it has many different climates and subsections. It is
occupied by fairies, mermaids, and a man-eating crocodile who swallowed a
clock.
·
How
do you get there, and how difficult is it to get there?
Peter
Pan has to bring you there via giving you the ability to fly with fairy dust.
You then fly toward the “second star to the right”. There may be other ways of
getting there, since the pirates somehow managed it.
·
Who
is allowed to go there, and could I bring my family?
Peter
Pan only selects children to go with him. So, like Narnia, you might be able to
bring other family members with you who are children, but no adults. But the
fact that there are adult pirates at Neverland means it must be somehow
possible for an adult to go there too.
·
Government
system:
Peter
Pan is in charge, unless you’re on the Jolly Roger pirate ship, in which case
you answer to Captain Hook.
·
Economic
system:
None,
although value is still placed on treasure.
·
How
would I make a living?
If
you can join Peter Pan, you’ll get to pretty much play all day and have fun.
You can live on imaginary food, so there’s no need to work. However, if you’re
an adult and somehow make it to Neverland, you’ll probably be joining Captain
Hook’s crew and becoming a pirate.
·
What
would the healthcare look like?
Not
too good. You don’t age, so you won’t have to worry about age-related
illnesses. Injury is another matter though. And just because you don’t age
doesn’t mean you can’t die.
·
Additional
Pros:
o
If
you can join Peter’s Lost Boys, you’re set for life, and don’t have to worry
about any responsibilities. It’s just fun and games every day, every kid’s
dream.
o
If
you’re a girl, you’ll be their surrogate mother and occupy a place of authority
at Peter’s side. Peter Pan actually values girls over boys by a long shot.
o
You’ll
never be bored, there’s always an adventure to be had.
o
Worst
case scenario, even swabbing the decks on Captain Hook’s ship couldn’t be as
bad as working at a call center, or any other crappy real-life capitalism job.
·
Additional
Cons:
o
Peter
Pan himself is an immoral jerk. Some interpretations claim that if a Lost Boy
does start to show signs of aging, they either get kicked out and have to join
the pirates, or worse, he kills them.
o
If
you’re an adult, you’re more likely going to be joining Captain Hook’s crew,
and he’s a tyrant obsessed with killing Peter Pan. You’ll likely be forced to
participate in kidnapping children quite often.
o
Come
to think of it even if Peter does accept you, you’ll be helping kidnap children.
o
If
you’re a girl and Tinker Bell gets jealous of you, she’ll try to kill you. But
then again in the book version she dies, so maybe she’s no longer a factor.
o
You’ll
forget your previous life and abandon your loved ones, and basically become brainwashed.
·
Final
verdict:
I
really did want to live in Neverland as a kid, but now that I’m an adult the
more disturbing aspects of this fairyland are more obvious to me. That’s the
thing about Neverland; children are too naΓ―ve to see its downsides. Maybe I’d
be overjoyed at first if I woke up in Neverland, but then the reality would
start to sink in and I’d panic. I think I’ll pass on Neverland in favor of
better fantasy worlds.
Middle Earth
·
A
brief overview.
Middle
Earth is implied to be our world but thousands upon thousands of years ago,
when dwarves, elves and hobbits lived among us. J.R.R. Tolkien’s works take
place on the central continent of Arda, which later became Europe. It consists
of several small kingdoms; the most powerful of which was Mordor under Sauron,
but he’s been disposed of by a couple of hobbits. So, it’s all good now, right?
Maybe?
·
Geography,
climate, flora and fauna.
Middle
Earth is apparently just like New Zealand. It has mountains, forests, seas, and
a variety of climates. Just stay away from Mordor, which is a volcanic
hellscape. They have most of the same animals as our world does, with the
addition of dragons, walking and talking trees, giant elephants and giant
spiders. As far as fellow humanoids go, you have elves, dwarves, hobbits,
trolls and orcs. How friendly they are to humans really depends.
·
How
do you get there, and how difficult is it to get there?
It
is supposedly our world in the past, so you would need a time machine to get
there. It may be impossible to travel there.
·
Who
is allowed to go there, and could I bring my family?
There
are no restrictions, but as said, it might be impossible to get there anyway.
·
Government
system:
A
series of kingdoms
·
Economic
system:
Feudalism,
most likely.
·
How
would I make a living?
If
you did somehow get here, you would have to go to one of the human kingdoms and
find some kind of a medieval pre-industrial job to support yourself.
·
What
would the healthcare look like?
Very
primitive. Magic exists, but most people can’t use it. You’re probably as
screwed as you’d be in medieval Europe.
·
Additional
Pros:
o
The
landscape is pretty.
o
There
are no crappy desk jobs, nor are there sweatshops, and the Industrial
Revolution hasn’t ruined everything yet.
o
No
pollution either.
·
Additional
Cons:
o War is still very much a thing in
this world. Who knows when your village is going to be razed to the ground by orcs.
o Elves can be stuck-up snobs.
Dwarves generally don’t trust humans due to being screwed over by them in the
past. Hobbits live in the nicest and safest area but I don’t think they’d let a
human live with them.
o If you’re getting there by time
travel, how peaceful Middle Earth is will depend on when you end up. Good luck
if you end up during the time of the War of the Ring.
·
Final
verdict:
Some
fantasy worlds are enough to distract me from it, but I think Middle Earth
would really make me miss technology. It’s very primitive. And you can still
die in all the same ways you can in our world, without the medical advancements.
War is a deterrent as well. Sure, I love the Lord of the Rings books,
but I don’t think I would want to actually live in Middle Earth.
The Goblin Kingdom (Labyrinth)
·
A
brief overview.
The
Goblin Kingdom, from Jim Henson’s Labyrinth, consists of a labyrinth of
stone walls, and the laws of physics don’t quite apply within. Walls can shift
and change when you aren’t looking, and it is populated by goblins who might
help you, or might mislead you, depending on their mood, as well as their
allegiance to the Goblin King, Jareth. At the center of the Labyrinth is the
Goblin City, and Jareth’s castle. It is possible that the goblins were all
kidnapped human children at one point, and slowly transformed into what they
are now.
·
Geography,
climate, flora and fauna.
There’s
not a whole lot to the geography; it’s a giant maze. There are different areas
in the maze, like the Bog of Eternal Stench, but mostly it’s just a stone maze.
We’re never shown what’s outside the Labyrinth, or even where it is. My pet
theory is that it’s on Planet Thra from The Dark Crystal. It is
populated by goblins that take various forms, and on the outskirts there are
fairies (be careful, they bite).
·
How
do you get there, and how difficult is it to get there?
It
seems that the only way to get there is for Jareth the Goblin King to take you
there, and he generally only does that when you wish for him to take a child
away. I don’t think he answers every request, though. Or else the population of
the Goblin Kingdom would get far too high due to Jareth’s fangirls trying it.
·
Who
is allowed to go there, and could I bring my family?
It’s
completely up to Jareth. It seems he chose Sarah because he was in love with
her. As a guy I don’t think I have much of a chance.
·
Government
system:
Absolute
Monarchy
·
Economic
system:
Unknown,
but there must be some sort of economy. Plastic is apparently highly valued.
·
How
would I make a living?
If
you end up in the Labyrinth, you can do one of two things; either reach the
center within 13 hours, challenge the Goblin King and make him send you and the
kid back, or you can dwell in the Labyrinth long enough to transform into a
goblin yourself. The junk lady goblins are said to all be formerly young women
that failed to solve the Labyrinth, becoming ugly old goblins with a hoarding
problem.
·
What
would the healthcare look like?
Nonexistent,
probably.
·
Additional
Pros:
o
They
have really good music.
o
The
Labyrinth is a fun challenge.
o
You’d
be away from the horrors of the real world.
·
Additional
Cons:
o Jareth doesn’t play fair, and is
not above cheating to thwart your attempt to solve the Labyrinth.
o I’m pretty sure no one wants to
become a junk goblin.
o The Bog of Eternal Stench.
·
Final
verdict:
I’m
going to have do a hard pass on the Goblin Kingdom. Labyrinth is one of
my favorite movies, but I never really stopped to think about how awful the
Goblin Kingdom would be if you actually went there.
Skyrim
·
A
brief overview.
Skyrim
is the northernmost province of the continent of Tamriel, on planet Nirn, from
the 5th Elder Scrolls video game. It is embroiled in civil
war, dotted with crypts filled with the undead, and it has a serious vampire
problem. Not to mention the dragons. It derives a lot from Nordic mythology.
·
Geography,
climate, flora and fauna.
The
game programmers based a lot of Skyrim’s geography on Norway. It is a rugged,
mountainous and snowy country. The southern regions are forested, but the
northern regions are like a tundra. There’s also a volcanic valley in the east.
There exist wolves and bears, as well as wooly mammoths, sabre-tooth cats,
werewolves and werebears, and of course dragons. There are several humanoid
races as well, such as the Nords, Imperials, Orcs, the catlike Khajit, and
Elves.
·
How
do you get there, and how difficult is it to get there?
It’s
on another planet, and it might not even be in the same galaxy as Earth for all
we know. Even if we knew for sure where it was, it could take billions of years
to get there from Earth.
·
Who
is allowed to go there, and could I bring my family?
No
restrictions, but it’s going to be a long trip.
·
Government
system:
Imperial
Monarchy. Skyrim is under the rule of the Imperial Legion, who in turn serve the
Aldmeri Dominion, an empire of the Thalmor (an elven race). Skyrim contains
several provinces within called Holds, ruled by local governors called Jarls.
One Jarl, Ulfric Stormcloak, rebelled against the Empire and wants Skyrim to be
independent.
·
Economic
system:
Feudalism;
gold coins are used as currency. And once you get enough money from looting
tombs and such you can basically bribe your way out of any crime. Not too
different from this world.
·
How
would I make a living?
Looting
tombs is very lucrative, and much more profitable than starting a small
business. You could also join a thieves or assassins guild. Basically, being
dishonest is far more profitable. You can get arrested and thrown in jail, but
if you have enough money you can bail yourself out. But if you want to be safe,
you should stay in the cities. You’ll probably die outside the cities.
·
What
would the healthcare look like?
Healing
potions have got you covered. Healing mages can help you out as well. It all
costs money though. No Universal Healthcare, sadly. And you have to pay
upfront, there’s no billing.
·
Additional
Pros:
o
You’ll
definitely never be bored. There’s always another cave to explore.
o
For
me at least, I spent so much time playing that video game that I know the lay
of the land far more intimately than any of these other fantasy worlds. That
could give me an advantage, since I would know which places to avoid.
·
Additional
Cons:
o
When
you play Skyrim, you play as the Dragonborn, who has superhuman strength. This
makes it somewhat misleading about how harsh Skyrim really is, and how easy it
would be for a normal person to die. There’s a reason the other characters tend
to stay in the cities. It’s so extremely dangerous. Even the Dragonborn will
die hundreds of times when you play, he just goes back to the last save point.
Not everyone has that kind of immortality in Skyrim. You could be mauled by a
bear, jumped and murdered by a thief, burned to a crisp by a dragon, or take a
wrong step while mountain climbing and fall off a cliff.
·
Final
verdict:
As
fun as the game is, I probably wouldn’t last five minutes in Skyrim in real
life. So, no.
Hyrule
·
A
brief overview.
Hyrule
is the mythical land in The Legend of Zelda series. It’s different in
every game, but there are some similarities that carry over from each game. The
land of Hyrule is dominated by the power struggles between Ganondorf, who holds
the Triforce of Power, Princess Zelda, who holds the Triforce of Wisdom, and
the hero Link, who holds the Triforce of Courage. These three people are
reincarnated throughout Hyrule’s history.
·
Geography,
climate, flora and fauna.
It
definitely varies from game to game. Some of the place names will be the same,
like there’s almost always a Kakariko Village, a Death Mountain, a Lost Woods,
etc. But they’ll be in different locations and have different layouts. It is
populated by an array of monsters that threaten any travelers. Humanoid races
include the elf-like Hylians, the desert-dwelling Gerudo, the aquatic Zoras,
and the mountain-dwelling Gorons.
·
How
do you get there, and how difficult is it to get there?
No
idea. Perhaps, like Skyrim, it is on another planet.
·
Who
is allowed to go there, and could I bring my family?
Doesn’t
apply. If you somehow did get there though, there would be no restrictions.
·
Government
system:
Monarchy,
sometimes headed by a Princess. Each humanoid race is generally self-governed
and has their own monarch.
·
Economic
system:
Gems
called rupees are used as currency. You can find these by killing monsters,
cutting grass or breaking pots. So, no need for a dead-end job.
·
How
would I make a living?
As
stated, cutting grass, breaking pots and killing enemy creatures is very
lucrative. Just get yourself a sword and you’re set.
·
What
would the healthcare look like?
Some
enemies drop hearts, which you can use to heal yourself. You can also purchase
or come across potions. And if you capture a fairy in a bottle, it will
resurrect and fully heal you if you die. If you find enough “Pieces of Heart”,
you can add to your health.
·
Additional
Pros:
o
You
could lead a life of adventure and never be bored.
o
Money
is very easy to come by so you don’t have to worry about poverty.
o
Beautiful
landscapes to explore.
o
Depending
on which version of Hyrule it is, I might know my way around it.But I haven’t
played every single Zelda game.
·
Additional
Cons:
o
There’s
always the possibility Ganondorf will take the throne and turn Hyrule into a
dystopian nightmare.
o
The
monsters can be quite dangerous; don’t get stuck outside one of the cities at
night.
o
You’ll
get stared at for having round ears instead of pointed ones.
o
There
are as many different Hyrules as there are Zelda games, so who knows which one
you’d end up in.
·
Final
verdict:
While
not as dangerous as Skyrim, Hyrule is still pretty dangerous. However, I might
rather take my chances there over the United States. Just got to be careful,
that’s all, and stay away from the temples and dungeons. If given the chance, I
would go.
Oz
·
A
brief overview.
Located
at the center of the continent of Nonestica and surrounded by a Deadly Desert,
Oz was enchanted by the Fairy Queen Lurline; as long as it is ruled by one of
her fairy descendants, no one ages or dies in Oz. Two of its quadrants were
once ruled by wicked witches, until they were both inadvertently killed by the
arrival of Dorothy Gale of Kansas. But that was only the beginning of a 40-book
series, not to mention supplemental works, unofficial but still basically canon
books, and unofficial continuations. If you are only familiar with the MGM
movie or the first book, you are a mere tourist to Oz.
·
Geography,
climate, flora and fauna.
It’s
unclear exactly where Oz and the continent of Nonestica are. Another planet, a
parallel universe, another plane of existence, one guess is as good as another.
Oz is divided into four main quadrants, simply known as countries, with its
sizeable capital, the Emerald City, at its center. Additionally, it is peppered
with independent kingdoms, usually no bigger than a single city, dating back to
a time when the country was less united. Extreme weather is a rare phenomenon,
and temperatures are usually rather agreeable, though it might rain from time
to time or snow in the higher mountains. Much of the land is unsettled, and
covered in forests. Each Country has a theme color which usually dictates what
plants grow. The animals can talk and have human-level intelligence. In fact,
depending on where you are almost anything can be alive.
·
How
do you get there, and how difficult is it to get there?
A
tornado is the most famous way, but that only ever happened once, officially.
You can get there via a shipwreck (which actually will have you end up in the
neighboring country of Ev, which is a bit less magical), falling into the
ground during an earthquake, or randomly going down the wrong street and
getting lost. The most direct way to get there is to be teleported there by
Princess Ozma herself.
·
Who
is allowed to go there, and could I bring my family?
Although
most stories involve children traveling there, there isn’t actually an age
limit. The Wizard of Oz himself was a grown adult when he traveled there, and
so was the Shaggy Man, a vagabond from the 5th book. Outsiders who
get to Oz normally get there completely by accident, and there’s no set way
this can happen. It’s completely up to Ozma if she’ll let you or any of your
loved ones stay in Oz. She tends to be reluctant to do so, but if you can get
enough of her close friends to vouch for you, especially Dorothy, she might
say yes.
·
Government
system:
Monarchy;
Ozma is the central ruler. Each of the four major countries within Oz have
their own monarchs, who still answer to Ozma as their superior. And there are
dozens of much smaller independent kingdoms, who also still answer to Ozma.
·
Economic
system:
Under
Ozma, money was banned. Trade and bartering still happens, but often things
will be given away for free. People often grow their own food and share with
their neighbors, and some food is sent to the Emerald City to be redistributed
to those who need it. Although there is still an aristocratic class of sorts,
it is mostly classless. Anyone given a menial job such as a maid (like Ozma’s
maid Jellia Jamb) seems to actually be doing it willingly and not under the
threat of starvation and homelessness as they would be in the United States.
·
How
would I make a living?
You
can make a living doing whatever you like. No one works more than half the
time, and no one is forced to have a job they don’t want. You can also choose
to live wherever you want as well. If you don’t like the hustle and bustle of
the Emerald City you can live out in the country. If you live someplace too
remote though, you might have trouble getting food unless you can grow it
yourself.
·
What
would the healthcare look like?
Disease
doesn’t exist in Oz. Magic may be used to heal the most severe injuries, but
you can’t die. As for mental healthcare, however, if they think you have too
much anxiety, they might send you to live with the Flutterbudgets; a town of
people with extreme anxiety who’ve been quarantined off from the rest of Oz.
·
Additional
Pros:
o
Plenty
of quirky, somewhat gimmicky communities to visit and explore.
o
Most
people seem really nice to one another (a big difference from someplace like
Wonderland).
o
All
food grows on trees; their vegan tree-grown meats taste just like the real
thing too.
o
Very
flexible laws, and a prison system that relies on rehabilitation; it’s
literally just the home of a sweet old lady.
o
You
don’t have to worry about aging or dying. And if for some reason you actually do
want to be older, you can age willingly. The magic works by aging yourself up
one year on your birthday.
·
Additional
Cons:
o
Sure,
being unable to die may sound great at first, but just hope you don’t get
trapped under an avalanche or a landslide or something. Then not being able to
die suddenly won’t be so great.
o
If
you have a baby it may never grow any older, trapping you with changing diapers
forever.
o
If
you’re already old, I don’t think they have a way to age you backwards. I could
be wrong though, I haven’t read every single book yet.
o
Some
might find a utopia a little boring, but that’s a matter of taste.
o
The
ban on practicing magic might seem a bit draconian, but if you remember the
history of Oz under the wicked witches, it starts to make sense. Rumor has it
the ban has loosened in recent years, in more modern books that not everyone
agrees is canon.
o
What
if Ozma is willing to let you stay, but not your whole family? Then you’d have
quite a choice to make. And if you choose to stay you’ll feel guilty forever.
But if you choose to return you’re giving up immortality.
o If you stay there for decades and ever leave Oz, the anti-aging magic won’t protect you anymore and you’ll rapidly age into your true age, shriveling into a pile of dust if you’ve been there too long. Then again, I’ve seen conflicting stories in this regard. But you’re kind of stuck in Oz if you decide to stay there long term.
o If I ended up there, I just might be sent to live with the Flutterbudgets.
·
Final
verdict:
This
is the fantasy world for me, I’ve decided. It’s the more mature Neverland. The
Oz books may have been aimed at children, but when L. Frank Baum describes just
how the country is run, you see that it’s really an adult’s escapist
wish-fulfillment fantasy. A classless society without money or aging isn’t
really something most children would have the life experience to even wish
for.
